The English language can be a funny thing. All these double-meanings and innuendos. Like the word “gay.” It means “happy,” right? What’s up with all the high school kids calling something “gay” like it’s a bad thing? I wish we could live in a world where all school children were gay every day. They would be accepted by their gay parents and grow up to be gay police officers, gay cowboys, and gay captains in the Navy.

When we think of “gay,” happy images of miniature people in a Technicolor world come to mind. Kind of like a cross between the Wizard of Oz and Willy Wonka, but with more beards and shiny, sequined gloves. Wouldn’t we feel gay if we spent more time popping our tops and dancing in the street to deep house remixes of Britney Spears? That would be amazing! Or what about Palm Springs? We are so gay by the pool at the SweetBands’ Palm Springs villa. All us guys taking a break from our hectic schedules to slowly bronze our bare chests, soaked in cocoa butter. I’m feeling gay just thinking about it!

There are a lot of things in life that make us gay – Broadway musicals, working on our chiseled abs, Pinot Grigio, rainbows, Tosh.0, Dolly Parton tribute bands, naive cliches about homosexuals, deep v-necks, our mothers…too many to count!

What about you? What makes you gay?